Life and pizza

I walked up to the counter and waited for her to look at me.
“I just wanted to tell you something.”  I said in a soft voice.
“You are smart. 
You are beautiful. 
You can work anywhere.”
She looked at me with tears in her eyes.
“You can do anything.”  I told her with conviction.   She wiped a tear from her cheek.
Then in a louder voice I said, “The pizza was really great.”
I directed the compliment to the older man who walked past. 



This is what happened twenty minutes earlier:
I was eating pizza with my mom and kids in a lovely little town up north.  I had found a groupon for the pizza joint on my phone and inquired about using it.  She told me they didn’t accept those.  Some big old guy with a foreign  accent heard my question and got all worked up.  “Where paper?  Coupon must have paper! No!  No accept.”   he told me, obviously flustered.  Then he turned to her and spoke rapidly, angrily.  When he walked away, I touched her hand and apologized - I didn’t mean for my question to get her in trouble.  That’s when I first noticed the tears.  “It’s ok.” she whispered and motioned towards him as if she didn’t care.

I couldn’t stop thinking about her as I ate my food.  Why was she treated like that?  What if that was my teenage daughter working minimum wage and an older adult yelled at her for no reason?   Would she have the confidence to leave and believe something better was out there?   Did she know she deserves to be treated with respect, even as a cashier at a pizza shop?

I had to tell her.   Just one more chance to speak to her.
You are smart.
You are beautiful.
You can work anywhere.
You can do anything.   

Then I packed up the kids and walked away. 
I don’t know her name.  I will never see her again.
Maybe she needed to hear those words. 
Or maybe she thinks I’m some crazy lady with loud kids.
It doesn’t matter.  It was said.  

Have you ever felt a strong need to tell a stranger something?
Did it feel good?  Awkward?  I’d love to hear any of your experiences….

An oldie but a goodie

In college I worked at Old Navy, where I gave most of my paycheck back to them every week purchasing clothes.  This was in the late 90’s when fleece was just starting to be mass produced and flooding the markets.   I remember one day, I hid this fleece waaaaay in the back of a pile of fleece sweaters so that no one else would buy it.  At the end of the day, the boring old brown fleece was mine!  It’s a men's size large, so it was big and cozy.  My sis stole it from me a few times and she loves to tease me about how I still wear it 14 years later.
Sadly, I wore it while touching up some paint in the kitchen and got some on the beloved sweater.  


I decided to resize it to fit me better in the sleeves and sides.  When I cut off the excess, I was left with these crazy shapes- perfect for making a tone on tone design to cover up the paint.

I played around with shapes and layout until I was happy.

I can’t wait to see what my sister says when I
pull it out of my suitcase at Christmas!

34

What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity.
They are but trifles, to be sure but, scattered along life's
pathway, the good they do is inconceivable....Unknown

September is a big birthday month in my family.   Always has been.  A big portion of the Pfeiffer family celebrates in September, then I married Brian who was born 3 days before me.   We thought it was so cool to celebrate our birthdays at the same time.  Then (much, much cooler)  Joshua was born on Brian’s birthdate!

This year, I proposed a family adventure to Splash Lagoon for a short weekend trip instead of a party.  It was a little bit of work, but absolutely worth the time and money.   It was so much fun being together and exploring someplace new!

In addition to the trip, I wanted to do something different on my birthdate.  

34 years. 

34 intentional “acts of kindness”, “pay it forward”, “make someone smile” during the day.  I had an idea of what our day was going to look like (car ride, waterpark, dinner, hotel) and worked around the schedule the best that I could.

* Shaved my legs really well.  I figured this would make Brian smile since it’s such a rare occasion.  Plus, a waterpark adventure is one of the best reasons to make time for shaving.

* Donated blood at the Red Cross.  I’ve never done this, but it was a perfect fit into the theme of my day.  The nice people made a huge deal over me and I left feeling good that I gave something valuable to a person I’ll never meet.

*Read a book to a sick child.  So what if it was my own child.  Still counts.

*Passed out mini candy bars at a rest stop.  I went around saying “Today is my birthday so I’m handing out treats to people!”  Everyone smiled and wished me a happy birthday.  It felt good to connect with strangers, even for a few seconds.

*Made a stranger smile.  I had no direct involvement with this one….Brian picked up Grace and flew her Superman style through the rest stop.   Although this happens everyday at our house, I suppose it’s a little unusual.  I caught several people grinning at them, which made me smile at my awesome family.

*Put some change into a vending machine.

*Paid the toll for the car behind me.  I didn’t know how to work this with E-Z pass, so I asked the attendant to put $5 towards the toll of the car behind me.  “The one with Ohio plates?” she asked.   “Yup!  That’s the one!”  I replied.

*Picked up trash in the hotel hallway

*Left inspirational quotes in the restaurant’s bathroom mirror

*Told the manager that our waitress was doing an awesome job.  (She really was)

*Left a big tip

*Gave 2 hotel workers a candy and funny quote

* Gave the arcade worker the rest of my tokens to use on his break.

*Left a book I liked in the hotel room for someone else to enjoy.

*Complimented a stranger on her beautiful jacket.

*Passed out 20 mini candy bars and 25 quotes to random people or left in random places for people to find.   This was my back up plan to reach 34.  

Some of my favorite quotes were:

“The days are long, but the years are short.”

“You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough.”

“Remember, housework, when done correctly, can kill you.”

“The moon belongs to everyone.  The best things in life are free.”

“Oh Thou who has given us so much, mercifully grant us one more, a grateful heart.”

“All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today.”

“Happiness is not a destination.  It is a method of life.”

It was a great birthday.  My family didn’t really get into it, but that was ok.  I was doing it for me.  Being Amy Jo.

Next year I might take the entire month of September and do 35 acts of kindness throughout the month.  I had lots of ideas that I couldn’t fit into the day.  24 hours spent in the car and a waterpark didn’t allow for much creativity.

 

Planter or crib?

I bought some new hanging planters from Aldi’s for $3.99 the other day.   Good deal, yes?

And then in snowed.   In late April.

Somehow the planter ended up in the kitchen with a baby snuggling in the coconut liner.

It totally made my day….a little moment in the midst of a snowy day. 

Taboo coffee mug

 

Brian:  Oh!  I see you got another travel mug.  That’s good, cuz we needed more.

Amy Jo:  I know!  I got that one for $1 at a garage sale.

Brian:  What?  Why did you do that?  That’s like “taboo”.  That’s the one thing you DON’T buy at garage sales!  You don’t know what they used that for!

Amy Jo:  Probably coffee.  They looked like a normal family.  Plus, I already put it through the dishwasher.

Brian:  Well, I’m never going to use that.

Amy Jo:  Great! I’m going to put a pink label on it and it’ll be for me.

I’ve washed and microwaved it many times with that vinyl label on it, and it’s holding up great so far.

So,  I’m curious….would you have snagged this mug for $1 too, or do you think that’s really gross and “taboo”?  (please be nice, even if you agree with Brian!)

 

Reminders around my house

I’ve been taping things up around my house.  It all started with “Keep calm and Sing a Song.”   I taped this up near our back door and it is helpful on crazy mornings when we are all trying to get out of the house, and everyone’s mouth is open crying, yelling or whining.   I catch a glimpse of this paper and belt out something….anything…and at least a few of the mouths will close and listen to the song.

Then I made a list of things I wanted to happen at dinner time.
The kids helped me make the list and pick out the colors to print.  We refer to this sheet every day, especially for "no complaints" and "use sign language".

Since that worked out so good, I made another one for bedtime routine.  This has helped Joshua immensely.  He goes right down the list and I don’t have to ask “Did you brush your teeth?” 12 times a night.   Just 5, for Kaylee who can’t read yet.  Maybe I should add pictures.



After reading Kimba’s sweet post, I printed out one more reminder for me.
“Yes, it matters.”  
my tone of voice,
my effort to put something healthy on the table for the kids to eat,
the time I spend cleaning up the kitchen again,
the diaper changing,
the laundry…..

I strategically placed it on the snacks cupboard, so it also reminds me that "YES, ALL THOSE SNACKS MATTER" 


These reminders are taped up with packaging tape.  It’s tacky.  It' doesn’t really help my homes décor, but it sure makes a difference everyday. Maybe someday they will get framed and hung.  Or I’ll just revise them as needed and slap up some new tape.

Compassion International

I've sponsored a child through Compassion International for over 10 years. Brian's never asked me to consider removing it from our budget, which I appreciate, but he's also never shown any interest in my "child". It's my thing, which is fine. I try not to think too much, because it bothers me that I live in such wealth when these kids live with nothing. It's easier to let the money be withdrawn from my account and mail off stickers once a month to the child.

Someone at work, a mommy that I respect, asked me what age it's appropriate to begin exposing your children to other's needs and suffering. Like I would know! I got her to talk through it which helped me to think about ways to start exposing my own kids to the reality of this world.

The first step I've taken was to include Joshua when I wrote to Steven. We read Steven's letter to us, looked at his photograph and talked about how far away he lives. Joshua drew him a picture, and that's about it. Steven is 7, with a hearing impairment. Joshua is 4, and I'm hoping that if I start now, we'll have many years to talk about this little boy who lives so far away, so differently than we do.

Maybe when Kaylee is a little older, we'll sponsor a second child; someone that she can write to and connect to another part of the world.

Any thoughts on how to expose kids to the needs of others?

People who care....

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of Miss America .
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress. 6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?
The lesson is that the people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

Loss of Sleep

I read somewhere that parents lose about 46,000 hours of sleep during the years of raising their kids. This week I reached 42,000. That same depressing article said that it's not possible to "make up" hours of sleep. Not that I have a chance anyway, since my body refuses to relax enough to take a nap. This culmination of sleep deprivation seems to hit me some weeks harder than others and this is one week that I feel it. I'm still going to work, (although I went in at the wrong time) I'm still feeding my family (take out pizza) and the house isn't a disaster (but there are moldy clothes in the washer).

I can tell something is off when I don't want to see anyone and I don't make something or spray paint something.

Yesterday at work, I found a stranger's blog while on hold with an electric company. That was a bad move because I got sucked in. Her 14 month baby had a swimming fatality and I started to cry, sitting in my cubical, listening to the hold music. As soon as I got off work, I ran out sobbing all the way to my car. Three minutes later I was home with my arms around my 14 month baby. Feeling her soft skin, touching her silky hair. I can't imagine if this was the last day to feel her little hands around my neck. I can't imagine losing her.

Later that night she screamed about going to bed and I couldn't take it for very long. I kept thinking how that other mother would have swooped up her baby girl if only she had a chance. I brought her down with us and Kaylee sang and read books as we watched the presidential debate. The debate left me feeling overwhelmed and sad about the state of my beloved country. I want to become more aware of the issues, but MAN! I wish I had just gone to bed.

The US has 10 TRILLION dollars in debt?
Social Security is still the same old problem?
Health Care just gets worse and worse?

I had a sick feeling in my stomach by the end and I honestly don't think either candidate will be able to make much progress in 4 years. I think both are brave for wanting to lead our country at such a terrible time in history. I'm not interested in that job. But again, I've lost 42,001 hours of sleep to date and just about everything makes me cry.

I tore an article out of a magazine because I really liked this poem. It was posted in the cancer ward of a hospital, but I think it applies to every hard/ horrible situation in life.

Cancer is so limited.
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot destroy peace.
Cancer cannot kill friendships.
It cannot suppress memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot invade the soul.
It cannot steal eternal life.
And it cannot conquer the spirit.

Things I need to hear...

I read something this afternoon that made me pause. I think it's important to share this; more important than the fabric swag I was planning on posting. I'm not going to add much, since Melissa writes better than I.

If I had it my way, every woman and girl in the world would view herself as God sees her, not as she sees herself or as others may tell her she is. When I compared my negative thoughts to God's Word, I was amazed at the differences:

My thoughts tell me to give up. God's Word tells me to be committed. Matthew 5:33-37
My thoughts tell me “I need it now!” God's Word tells me to exercise self-control. Galatians 5:23
My thoughts tell me I deserve to come first, be selfish. God's Word tells me to have humility and put others first. Philippians 2:3-4
My thoughts tell to get mad and hold a grudge. God's Word says forgive as many times as it takes. Matthew 18:21-22
My thoughts tell me I need to look good on the outside and no one will notice the ugly inside. God's Word tells me to be pure on the inside and the outside won't even matter. Proverbs 31:30
My thoughts tell me I'm ugly. God's Word tells me I'm wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
My thoughts tell me I'm all alone and no one understands me. God's Word tells me He will never leave me He knows the plans and He has for me. Deuteronomy 31:6, Jeremiah 29:11

7 years ago....

June 23, 2001

We hate bugs...

Before I had kids, I watched a young mom teach her little girls about bugs. "We love bugs!", they would yell. I thought it was cool that the girls were fascinated with bugs and spiders instead of squeamish and scared.

"I'll do the same exact thing....teach my kids to enjoy and appreciate all of God's creatures", I thought naively.

Well, I've got the kids and now I've got some bugs. Ants and bees and wasps, to be specific. But I realize that I don't really appreciate all of God's little creatures, and I don't know how to teach a love of something that I personally hate! Poor little Joshua got stung by a bee yesterday, and the best I can do is try not to make him scared of those nasty little things.

This morning we noticed a swarm of wasps around our deck. Then we noticed a big fat hive on the railing of the deck. Great.... Brian thought for 1 and a half minutes and announced he had a plan. He came back with a broom and a dustpan. What? WAIT!WAIT!WAIT!!! I yelled. What are you doing? You're going to go scrape it off? Are you crazy? What does the Internet say about hives? Because obviously the Internet knows everything that we don't.

This man researched TV's for 13 months before purchasing a new one. He has been researching grills for the past 3 months. He knows how to find information on rust, on hard drives, specifications for an automobile part, symptoms for any sickness and now he also knows how to get rid of a wasp hive. I hope I get a picture of him later tonight, because his new Internet informed plan involves a winter jacket, winter gloves, ski mask and wasp killer spray. He's also going to set up the water sprinkler so he can run through the water and distract them if they start to attack. I'm pretty sure that one is his own idea...

As for the ants, I just laugh at them. Everyday I find 2 or 3 of the ittiest, bittiest ants near my front door. I vacuum them up and another 2 replacements show up the next day. They aren't too bothersome right now, but when they realize a banquet of Cheerios, toast and goldfish crackers are just 10 feet north of the entrance, I'm sure they will call their extended family. And that's what I'm afraid of.

Work stories

Here's some stories from work ....

VCO caller says, "Uh...uh...is Marie there?" (very loudly and not very clearly)
Person responds " I don't speak Spanish."
VCO caller: "no, no. I said is Marie there?"
Person again says, "I NO SPEAK SPANISH!"
VCO laughs. "I speak English."

Well, this made me laugh. Someone's been telling this poor guy that he speaks well enough to use the phone, but it comes out sounding like Spanish.



Deaf caller says, "Hi, it's me. Do you want some cereal?"
"Who is this?"
Caller repeats name. "Do you want cereal?"
This conversation repeats 4 times. Seriously. Word for word, it repeats.
(Finally some clarification)
"Honey Bunches of somthin...do you want cereal?"
"oh, ok."
"I'll be there in 5 min".

hmmmm.... I started to wonder if "cereal" was a code word for something else. Something mysterious and possibly illegal?

Deaf caller contacts a P.I. to ask if they could break into her boyfriend's computer and pager. She suspects he's cheating on her. "No. That's illegal. We can't do that." She asks 3 more times, just to be sure.

My job is so unique. I see dozens of different people every day. I am part of their conversations, and get a glimpse into their lives for a short time. Some calls I really enjoy, some I detest, some are boring, some are short, some are crazy long. I can't tell you how many times I get to work feeling tired or annoyed with something in my life. Then I interpret a call for someone asking to have their food stamp allowance increased because they can't feed their kids. Or a grandma saying that the kids miss their Daddy so much; can't you please come visit? Or people arguing for 30 minutes over $10 borrowed. Or a mother calling her son to say the police are looking for you.

It's those calls that make me realize how blessed I am. I could be living those situations. That could be my life. Instead, I'm just the interpreter, relying information between two parties. There is nothing I can to do to change the situation except send up a quick prayer on their behalf. And remember to be thankful for a life without (much) drama.

Amazing photo

I saw this picture last week on another blog and I can't stop thinking about it.

The caption on the photo said, "A policewoman is breastfeeding a baby whose parents have been not found yet after the earthquake. During the rescue, many policewomen, mothers of 3-6 month babies, breastfeed babies whose parents either died or missed in the earthquake."

It give me goosebumps to see this woman caring for a helpless baby in the most intimate way possible. Notice she's not nursing discreetly the way American mom's must. In the face of crisis, she did what any mother would do for her baby. But it's not her baby! Somehow I can't imagine this happening in America. There would be cries of "Go to Walmart and get some formula for this baby!"

Photo by World2008News

Just 30 minutes

Our family reunion last weekend was great in two regards. FAMILY and FOOD. We ate very well. VERY WELL. Each family was responsible for 2 meals and we prepared the best that we could on a camp stove and charcoal grill. When I got home and looked at the photos I realized, wow. I'm fat and I really can't use the "I just had a baby" card any more. Isn't that always how it happens? Although I wouldn't call the mirror my friend, it doesn't show off the same angles that a camera does.

I am determined to make small changes and less excuses. I read something over at her site that emphasised the importance of 30 minutes of exercise a day. Duh! Of course my body needs that! Last week I managed to walk or bike 5 out of 7 days, and my ever so friendly scale says I've lost 5.5lb. I'm not so sure I trust it, since it's one of those bi-polar digital scales. Exercise always leads to eating less sugar and junk for me. Seems like my body doesn't crave it as much. Key words: AS MUCH! I've decided for now not to start Weight Watchers or do anything super radical. My body is going through enough issues in the sleep department that I really just need to eat what I need to eat for right now.

You can’t say you don’t have time to exercise. Exercise improves your
energy levels and mood which makes you more productive than any time lost.

Heidi -- Give Away

In celebration of my 100th post I'm doing a give away! A brand new copy of Heidi from Amazon.com I'm actually on post 103, but only Mr. Blogger is counting. I'm actually quite surprised that I've found 100 things to write about. Of course some of those have been about dirt piles and cell phones and other un-fascinating things.

My inspiration for the giveaway is due to an old copy of Heidi I found. It must have been from elementary school. I saw my funny little cursive signature on the front page. Isn't it strange how handwriting changes over time? I wonder what mine will look like 20 years from now.

Anyway, I've had some bad experiences taking a certain toddler into the library lately, so I was fresh out of new books to read. I grabbed this book and re-read it. I'm sure I enjoyed it more this time through, compared to whenever it was I last read it. That Heidi....she's a feisty little thing. Her thoughtfulness and generosity towards others, her optimism, her appreciation of the world around her, her delight in every person she meets made me SMILE and REFLECT upon my own life.

So it's just a little book, but I think you'd enjoy reading it too. It's a little thank you for reading my blog. Leave me a comment by Sunday May 31rst and your name will be entered into the drawing.

More flowers

After I posted yesterday's blog I realized I had more photos of fried food than I did of the flowers. I didn't mean misrepresent my festival experience. The flowers will always trump any fried foods offered, even fried oreos.She matched the flowers so perfectly, you'd think I planned that on purpose. I wish it was true, but I've got too many other things on my plate and too much dirt on my floor to think of such things.
Brian took these photos . I love how the focus is on the blooms and then it gets fuzzy around the edges.

Me and my baby girl.
I love this photo! It looks like the pansies are as big as people. (really he just put the camera on the ground and got a lucky shot)

Lilacs and Fried Food

Lilac Festival in Highland Park, Rochester, NY

*Highland Park is a completely planned arboretum or “tree garden.”
*There are over 1200 lilac shrubs. (500 different varieties)
*20 acres of gently rolling hills in the middle of the city of Rochester
*Frederick Law Olmstead was responsible for final development of Highland Park. Among his other accomplishments was the design of New York City's famous Central Park.
* A half-million people visit during the annual 10-day festival.

I'm sure I've gone to this festival every year of my life. It's 10 days long, so it's hard to miss unless you don't like pretty flowering bushes, fried foods or a half a million people.

Isn't it funny how festivals that celebrate something as pure and lovely as Lilac bushes turn into a celebration of every fried food known to man? We met up with some of my co-workers at the Lilac Festival. My boss likes to buy everyone food and take a group photo every year. He's the greatest guy to work for. (and not just because he walked all over the festival to find me some fried dough.)

A new combo idea: fried dough and ice cream. I also saw a sign for fried OREOS. What's up with that? I was told they were awesome, but I just couldn't bring myself to try it. An Oreo is good enough (or bad enough) without adding a layer of grease!

This is why I wear shoes

Another little "rule" of Flylady is to wear shoes all day. She says shoes tell your brain it's time to get moving and that you are ready to work.

I say shoes prevent me from stepping on pieces of toast and assorted dirt in my kitchen.