Raincheck on Valentine's Day

Brian's the type of guy who usually runs out at 6pm on Valentine's, Birthday, Mother's Day, etc. to grab anything that makes due as a gift. Well, this year I got a rain check. Seriously. No card, no flowers, no chocolate, no poem. I got a rain check from Target for 2 bookshelves.

um... hello!!! Target has cards, flowers, chocolates, and probably a poem or two!!

I was gracious for a few hours, thankful that he took time to drive out to Target for me, blah, blah, blah. But when I got into bed that night I realized I really wasn't getting anything else. And I started thinking about how Valentine's day has never been a great day of the year for me. I didn't like it when I was single and everyone had flowers and candy and a sweetheart. But now that I'm married I still don't have flowers and candy! I've got the guy, sure, but I still feel like I'm missing out on the "ROMANCE" of the day. So, feeling like a rejected woman at 11:30pm, I tried to explain my feelings to B, who was tired and ready to sleep. Of course I realize now that might not have been the best time to explain how "things" make me feel loved; show that he was thinking of me; ect. It wasn't a pretty conversation, and I listened to a lecture about "commercialization and Hallmark and honoring a monk". Then I cried.

On a related note, I have the pleasure of working with great people, two of which in particular are gorgeous, fashionable and not married. In serious relationships, but still NOT MARRIED. They inspire me, (through my own self-shaming) to make attempts at my hair, and chose with slight care what I'm going to wear. In fact, in honor of Valentine's Day, I donned a *skirt* and a dress shirt with **stockings**. It's been YEARS since I dressed so nice, except attending a wedding. Not a single person noticed. Not my kids, not my hubby, and not a single person at work. Of course, my kids are 2 and 6 months, I only saw hubby for maybe 6 min. before I changed, and I worked in my little cubicle for 2 hours.

So, back to my single friends.... both had fantastic dates planned for Valentine's evening. No surprise there. But in contrast, I bought a heart shaped pizza that I picked up on the way home from work, and I listened to one or the other of my kids crying the whole night. Occasionally both crying at the same time.

Happy Valentine's Day